The grief process is the emotional response which automatically occurs when a person experiences a significant loss. This process often occurs at the time of a death, divorce, loss of a job, move, or loss of physical health. This process is sometimes referred to as a mourning process and it signals that the person is emotionally "letting go" of or saying goodbye to something that was important to them. The more significant the loss the longer the grieving period will be. For example, the grief process for the death of a spouse or a child will be different, longer lasting and more intense than from the grief process for a move. Everyone will experience grief at some point in their life time. The majority of people will experience the grief process many times during their life. The grief process is common in all age groups from very young children to the elderly. However, as we age losses may accumulate and occur more quickly.

Symptoms of Grief
Any emotion can be a part of the grief process. The literature describes the following common series of feelings: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Initially, the person will experience feelings of denial or shock as they come to terms with the reality of the loss. For many the feelings of anger, bargaining and depression happen simultaneously, rather than in stages. Other common feelings are fear, anxiety, frustration, confusion, hurt, and feelings of abandonment. Finally the person will come to accept the loss and plan for the future. During the grief process the person may cry easily, get angry quickly, they may experience sleep disturbances, eating patterns and routines are often disrupted, they may have difficulty concentrating, find that their thoughts race and have difficulty making decisions. Many people find the grief process quite difficult to deal with because they don't feel as competent and many even worry about their emotional stability. Don't assume the deeply grieved are over the process in a few weeks or months just because they are going on with their routine. Some people pretend to be doing much better than they really are.

Treatment
Generally people who experience a loss benefit from having a good support network of family, friends and co-workers. If a person becomes intensely angry or deeply depressed and these feelings interfere with their day to day functioning they may benefit from participating in psychotherapy or from certain medications. There are support groups available for persons experiencing grief, particularly those who have experienced a death or divorce.

How To Help The Grieving
There are no magic words of comfort or pat answers

To those who are suffering the pain there is no logical reason for the loss to have happened.

Say "I'm sorry. I heard and came to be with you."

Often the greatest gift you can give a grieving person is the gift of you presence.

Remember listening to the grieving person is more important than saying the right thing.

Do not talk the grieving person out of feeling guilty, sad, depressed, angry or frightened.

Remember grief is not a weakness. It is being human.